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Writer's pictureJordan Birkner

OPINION: Bisexuals are neither confused nor unfulfilled

There are different definitions of bisexuality, but it is an umbrella term encompassing pansexuality, queerness and fluidity. Despite making up nearly three-fifths of the LGBTQ+ community, there are pervasive misconceptions about bisexual people from those inside and outside of the community that have existed for decades and that can create hostile social environments.


When discussing sexuality, understanding that attraction can vary for different people implies the existence of a spectrum, which has been recognized in mainstream media for decades. As a bisexual person, the level of stereotypes and invalidation that we face is often understated. A study examining sexual health and identity made the category of bisexual synonymous with “mostly straight,” implying that sexual orientation exists within a binary and bisexual people are “mostly” dismissible in their existence as a sexual minority.


I have experienced judgments based on persistent stereotypes about bisexuals that we are “confused; in transition; greedy; repressed homosexuals; attention mongers; group-sex proponents; traitors; promiscuous.” Additionally, the existence of unicorn hunters shows how bisexual women are sexualized as experimental experiences.


Another dominant and upsetting stereotype is that bisexuals are inherently unable to commit to a single partner or practice monogamy. A National Institutes of Health study found more than 1 in 5 people believe that bisexuals are “incapable of being faithful in a relationship” and 40% of people are unsure about bisexuals’ monogamy.

As a monogamous bisexual woman, the perception is frustrating — even if some bisexual people don’t practice monogamy, this does not imply that we all are fundamentally incapable of doing so.


Being in a committed relationship does not mean other people you find attractive do not exist. Models, actors and celebrities often are famously well-regarded for their looks. However, encountering attractive people on TV or at a coffee shop does not minimize one’s commitment and connection to their partner, regardless of being bisexual or not.


Similarly, being bisexual does not inherently mean you are attracted to everyone or are more sexually promiscuous than those with other identities. Many relationships are built on more than physicality. Assuming that having a single partner will cause someone to feel they are limiting opportunities applies to any relationship identity. Thinking that there is an inherent inability to be satisfied with a single partner indicates polyamory, not bisexuality.


So, why is it important for us to pay more attention to our support of bisexual people?


From 2017 to 2020, bisexuals experienced the highest levels of violent victimization compared to other sexual identities. Suicide, poor mental health and bullying are significantly higher for bisexual youth than those who identify as heterosexual or homosexual. Considering this, it isn’t surprising that people are less likely to come out as bisexual than gay or lesbian. Bisexual men are rarely affirmed in their identities in media or societal contexts. Biphobia is shown to be distinct from homophobia, and while both are genuine and heinous issues, the former incorporates its own challenges and requires consideration as well.


We cannot fully support the LGBTQ+ community while allowing these and other stereotypes and judgments of bisexual people to persist. It’s our responsibility to validate bisexual people and reduce the harmful mental and physical effects they experience due to discrimination. Remaining mindful of how we perceive and interact with the bisexual people around us is critical in reducing the harmful impacts judgments can have.


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